I have a blogger now!

It only took me about five hours to figure out how to change my layout, get my photos up and change the font color. I'm sure I'll still add a few more things here and there but for the most part, I really like it. I know I will be adding music for sure as soon as I figure out how to do that one.

For those that don't know me and is their first time reading any of my blogs, I'm about to turn 23 years old, I'm married to a wonderful and amazing man and I have two beautiful children. Kenneth is for sure the most amazing husband and father in the world. He works hard, takes care of me, takes care of his kids. He is the funny carefree one that worries over every single thing when he gets stressed. Carston was born June 30, 2006 and Makenna'lea was born July 1, 2008. Carston was concieved through a FET cycle which is a frozen embryo transfer after three years of TTC. Makenna was a nice big suprise! When my son was 15 months old I found out I was pregnant with her without TTC, no treatment. We are so blessed!

So now that I have a small summery of who we are I can get down to blogging!!!!

I read a blog on diaryland, Alice's Diary. I ran across it years ago when I was pregnant with my son and she was also pregnant with her second son. I got hooked and still read it when I get a chance. She posted a link to a woman's blog, I will link it in the next entry, she is devoted to God, her husband is a singer, they have three beautiful girls and one sweet little baby angel in heaven. Her page is BEAUTIFUL and I will admit I copied it a bit. Her story is so sad but so uplifting at the same thing. A family that has gone through such pain with loosing their baby girl, knowing for months that she would probably pass soon after she was born but still having such amazing faith in God. That makes you think... everyone thinks they have it so bad. They think about so many things they want to change. Having more kids, having more money, a bigger house, a nicer car, so so many things they would change if they could. I'm one of them....

We have gone through a pretty hard year. My dad almost died, Kenneth lost his job and didn't find another one for three months and even that one did NOT pay the bills, I found out I was pregnant at one of the worst times possible, I can't seem to get along fully with my inlaws, my sister and her kids blow my family off, we lost more pets than I can count, we almost lost our house... just horrible times. We are just now picking up the pieces thanks to the help of my mom. All I could think about was how we needed more money. More money would fix everything. Of course it would help so much, of course we need it, of course I'm sooooo happy that Kenneth found a job that will be paying all our bills and rent and then some. But most of all, I'm so so so so grateful after reading that woman's blog. I have a husband who loves me and loves his kids, I have two BEAUTIFUL amazing children who I would give my life for that are healthy and here with me, I have great parents, I have food in my stomach and a roof over my head. What more can I truly ask for without being greedy? No matter what we go through, I will always have my family and in the end, that's all I truly care about. No amount of money will ever make that feeling any more powerful. So many people loose sight of that. Just be grateful for what you have because it can always be so much worse and so much more painful.

So after that rambling I want to talk about normal stuff. Makenna is doing great, six weeks old already!!! She has my attitude for sure. She loves to sleep with me in bed which I'm not too happy about. Kenneth is so sure that she hates him because she is usually fussy when he holds her but the truth is, he doesn't have boob so that's the problem. She loves her big brother and just smiles at him all the time. I can't believe at one time I wasn't over the moon about having another baby because now that she is here, I would NOT change it for the world!!!!!

Carston was sick but is doing MUCH better. We are working on him going to sleep in his own bed by himself. Since Kenneth was out of work for awhile, he would hold Carston in the living room every night for him to go to sleep so now we need to break that. He has been telling us when he is about to poop so there is a huge red flag that he is ready for potty training. He doesn't tell us when he goes pee but I think that's because he always has a diaper on and doesn't really realize that he is going pee to begin with so.... time for naked Carston for awhile and see how that goes. That's what a steam cleaner is for. I can't wait for him to be out of diapers fully!!! He is talking up a storm, knows tons of words and craves attention 24/7. Now that Kenneth is back to work and making great money we can put him into some kind of mothers day out program. All of them cost money but so worth it. He will get to color and sing songs and play with other kids his own age instead of being stuck at home with mom all day. Our first start with leaving him with someone will be church on Sunday. Kenneth only has Sunday off BUT we have got to get Carston into some kind of program and he will be moved up to the 2 year old class at church so he will color and do activities the whole time instead of just wandering around the daycare screaming. Hopefully he will love it and not scream the whole time.

Now to Kenneth's job... I'm so freakin excited!!!!!!! I have learned you do NOT tell people online how much you make, how much your bills are, things like that. They always take it upon themselves to think that you don't have enough money for this or enough money for that and every time you say you bought something they take it upon themselves again to tell you that you should have spent that money on something else. So with that being said, Kenneth is making enough for bills, rent and alot left over, more than we have ever had left over after paying bills!!! You have no idea how nice it will be to go to the mall and be able to buy myself some clothes! I seriously have no clothes that fit me, not just because I just had a baby six weeks ago but because I didn't have any before I got pregnant either. I was alway spending my money on Carston or the house or on Kenneth. I put myself last. I'm not asking for much or plan on spending alot. I just want a few pairs of jeans, a few pairs of shorts/capris, a few casual dresses, a few tops, a few new bras... okay that sounds like alot but considering I'm still wearing my maternity clothes because nothing else fits me, I need it all.

I guess that's it, hopefully I'll be posting on here more often than I was with yahoo 360. On there all I did was post photos, I never felt like I could post what I wanted because of nasty comments. I just love how people think they know you so well when all they know is what you write.